Friday, February 17, 2012

[rant] What's the Point?! >=(

February is exhausting me.

LOL! Seriously. It started off innocently, but so much has been happening since then. I was at Urban Tavern at the America's Test Kitchen SF Blogger Meet Up last night (total whim) and got to network with new and old friends. Even got a date set up with Annelies! w00t! Sometimes we need to get back to our blogger roots and reconnect with others who have the same love for food and writing as we do. I saw my girl Steph (#1) of Lick My Spoon, who said she couldn't believe February is almost over. Neither can I.

Okay, *breathe* here we go.

I honestly had a breakdown after I got back from Seattle. Even though I had an extraordinary time there, I began asking myself, "what is the point?" The point in trying to blog, the point in working my ass off at my 9to5, the point in promoting Filipino food, etc. atbp. I asked questions like, "Should I leave SF?" "Should I stop writing?" "Should I quit my job?" "Is what I am doing with Filipino food promotion enough?" "Does anyone really care anymore?" All the while, I was physically sick with chronic migraines and at one point, I believe a sinus infection. February kicked my butt.

So February 16 comes, (yesterday) and here I am feeling so frickin' kawawa (pityful) for myself. I log onto my computer and see that these two videos are posted on Facebook within an hour or so of each other:



KULINARYA: Noche Buena - KAPAMEALYA at INTRAMUROS Restaurant & Lounge
from Kenny Kusina on Vimeo.


This video is of kapaMEALya celebrating Christmas/Noche Buena at Intramuros Restaurant. The great Kenrick Mercado created it with interviews he conducted and video/photos he captured. I love it!


This one is from Kulinarya 2012 which Chef Ron Bilaro and TFC's Adobo Nation made. While I don't have direct face time with the camera, you can see my backside a lot lol. Chef Bilaro and I were judges for this Filipino cooking showdown and I sat to the left of him.

I mean was this a sign or what? Somewhere along the way I forgot what my goal was, and for some reason, the world literally made me see it again. Thank you Vimeo and YouTube. These videos couldn't have come at a better time. The day gets even better - I get a visit at work from my favorite pharm rep Andy who is always fun to chat with, then my coworker treats me to some San Tung chicken wings for lunch, then this:

Okay, I WILL be perfectly honest. I think it was a blessing for me to see the RT that Irvin put on Twitter last night. I knew it was about the America's Test Kitchen wanting to gather the SF Food Bloggers together, but it was one Twitter handle that caught my attention.

I'm going to call her out on this too:

@skinnyjeans

Skinnyjeans, aka Stephanie (#2), is a healthy living blogger and author of the latest book I read, "Death of a Road Warrior." It struck a chord with me because it had to do with relationships and getting burnt out at work and yes, emotions. I saw her handle being RT'ed on my stream and I KNEW I had to meet her. Not to gush at how her book helped me after I read it last month, but to meet the woman after all the darkness...frankly, I was going through my own. I didn't outright tell her who I was when I butted my way into a conversation she was having with another Steph (#3) (there were 3 Stephs at the meet up btw haha get the #'s?). I just listened to her and introduced myself right before I left. Hopefully she did remember who I was since we corresponded on Twitter, but it was great to meet her IRL knowing how the book did relate to my own experiences.

After the meet up, I had dinner - ramen and gyoza and a ceviche tostada with Bubz.

You know that Ice Cube song where he raps about it being a good day? =P Yup, on point. I even did my nails last night. They're fierce. Magenta base with black zebra stripes. So now my spirits are lifted and ready to tackle the rest of the month and my birthmonth! March babies, what's up?! Lemme just say I slept like a baby last night!

So here we are - February 17 - it's my anniversary with Bubz. <3

This morning on the train, I met a young lady who is visiting from out of town. She asked me if I was local and if I could help her regarding her plans. Between Daly City and Civic Center station, we discovered we were both bloggers and that we are both at a point of rediscovering life and what the world has to offer. We exchanged blogs after we exited the train. LOL. Though we had to part ways rather quickly because I had to head to work, I am hoping we keep in touch. I am looking forward to see what she did on her trip here. She is traveling the City ALONE. Wow, I would LOVE to do that one day. Just pick up a bag, stuff it with clothes, and GO!

Okay, here's another thing.

I'm going to Boston and NYC in April!

I've already requested time off, so now I am just waiting to book my tickets and lodging. I am so stoked! Initially, I wanted to make it a "soul-searching" trip...meaning I would go by myself, but the kapaMEALya fam was going to NYC at the same time. Perfect opportunity to have a trip together. Maybe my soul isn't meant to be alone. Maybe it's meant to share experiences with my fam? Who knows? Anywho, last night, I met Steph (#3) who is in charge of the community aspect at America's Test Kitchen and invited me to their HQ in Boston! Dope. Wishful thinking, but I hope Kimball is there. I am also looking forward to the NYC leg of the trip so we/kapaMEALya can hit up Purple Yam and meet the awesome Amy Besa! She just responded to a message I tagged in on Facebook this morning.

Serendipity.

Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways.

In retrospect, maybe February wasn't too bad. A lot of what I had planned didn't happen, but much of the happiness I did have was from pure serendipity. Sometimes I need to relax, let Jesus take the wheel and pray. I trust He has a plan. I know I have never been so God-loving on the blog, but for some reason now I feel as though I do need to give thanks because I have been truly blessed. It occurred to me that I have the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. I constantly want to make aspects of my life better just so that I wouldn't have to worry about the "other side" since "my side" is great as it is. I suppose it's just "motivation," right?

I apologize for my rant, but I want to thank all of you for supporting and being there for me, especially my friends, family, and of course God.

So what IS the point?

Everyone has their own meaning.

All I know is that I am getting there.

xoxo,
Jo

PS: More happiness tonight, it's Lara's birthday! Heading to Smuggler's Cove tonight with kapaMEALya! Maybe I will see you there!

PPS: Right after I hit "publish," this Filipino Foodie guide is posted on FB. Well then, I guess we have some places to go to in NYC! Was that meant or was that meant?